Success built by a version of you that no longer exists is a beautiful prison. I had to give myself permission to build a life that felt creative, joyful and whimsical.
Joy Transforms
"Your old life is my dream life."
Someone said this to me on a podcast. And I had to sit with it because they weren't wrong.
On paper, I had everything:
The booming private practice.
The house.
The credentials.
The life everyone congratulated me for.
The life people quietly envied.
It was also a cage.
Because success built by a version of you that no longer exists is just a beautiful prison.
And that guilt keeps you stuck in it. “You should be grateful. Look at everything you have!”
So you keep performing. You keep showing up as her. And the gap between who you are and who you're pretending to be keeps getting wider.
But here’s the truth. You don't need more motivation to close that gap.
You need permission.
In 2021, burnout and alcohol addiction took me to the ICU. A part of me died there.
Since 2021 I gave myself permission to:
Close my private practice
Get sober from alcohol (5 years! 🎉)
Sell my house
Pay off ALL my student loans
Move to Mexico (2.5 years!)
Lose 70 lbs
It wasn’t discipline. It wasn’t a 5-step plan. It wasn’t motivation.
Permission was the gateway to transformation.
I’ve learned that when you transform and enter a new identity/ reality- the old one falls away.
The old version of me wanted to survive- This version of me wants to frolic the globe and live a life of joyful whimsy!
I feel joyful, grateful and excited to be alive- every day.
Joy Transforms!
